The Secret to Being a Better Person And Improving Your Relationships
I’m going to let you in on a secret for how to be a better person. It’s easy, fast and has been scientifically proven to improve your relationship with yourself and others.
It’s called Mettā meditation.
I first came across Mettā, or Loving Kindness, meditation years ago when I was first studying Buddhist meditation. The first time I practiced it, I was blown away by the effect it had on me. My whole physiology changed. It’s a simple meditation where you send heart energy outwards, but sometimes the simplest things are the best. It has greatly changed how I view myself, my friends and family ones, and even strangers. Simply put, it has made me a happier, better person.
Mettā meditation is a simple, guided meditation that has profound effects when done on a regular basis. According to ancient Buddhist texts, the Pali Canon, if you do Mettā meditation regularly, it has some pretty awesome side effects:
One sleeps easily, wakes easily, dreams no evil dreams. One is dear to human beings, dear to non-human beings. The devas protect one. Neither fire, poison, nor weapons can touch one. One’s mind gains concentration quickly. One’s complexion is bright. One dies unconfused and — if penetrating no higher — is headed for the Brahma worlds.
Now, I can’t really attest to the fact that “neither fire, poison, or weapons” can touch me after practicing this type of meditation, but I can tell you that my capacity for being open-hearted and loving with myself and others has increased more than I could have imagined.
It’s really not hard to do. Here are instructions for a simple Mettā meditation practice. (I’ve recorded a more in-depth version of this meditation that you can access for free ***here***, if you’d prefer to listen along as I guide you.)
- Sit or lie down somewhere where you won't be disturbed for about 15 minutes.
- Close your eyes and feel your heart filling with love and compassion.
- Imagine this love and compassion as a light building in your heart. Give the light a color.
- Imagine someone you love dearly standing in front of you. Send them the light from your heart while you send them the prayer:
May you find happiness and the causes of happiness
May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering
- Now imagine someone who is an acquaintance. You know their name and a little bit about them, but you don’t know much about the details of their life. Imagine them standing in front of you and send them the prayer:
May you find happiness and the causes of happiness
May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering
- Next, imagine a stranger. It could be someone in your town or halfway around the world. Bring a detailed image of them to your mind and say:
May you find happiness and the causes of happiness
May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering
- Finally, imagine someone who has hurt you or wronged you. That person also has had good days and bad, experienced love and loss, just like you. See if you can open your heart and tell them:
May you find happiness and the causes of happiness
May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering
- Now see your heart fill to capacity and beyond with love and the wish for all beings to be happy. Send this love from your heart to the world, see all the people on this planet striving to find happiness and avoid suffering. Send them your love.
- Slowly open your eyes and notice how your heart is still filled with love and compassion.
This is a great meditation to do in the morning as it starts you out with such a good vibe for the day. There’s nothing better than going through your day shining your light on everyone you encounter and giving them the gift of love and compassion.
Xo
Megan
